im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
as a side note pls kill me
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