there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
