Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she told me i tasted like america
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
