Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
