And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize