I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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