Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
