I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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