He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
