Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
