Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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