I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
