i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
