Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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