her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
