ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my vag is so smooth its legendary
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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