That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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