I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
