waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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