i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize