she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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