Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
