i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
