Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
