Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
