...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
