P.S. I can't hear my feet
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
