It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
