i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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