you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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