I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
