i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Even my vagina gasped.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
