tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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