420 ftw
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
