All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
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