know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize