I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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