she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
