A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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