Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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