FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
