So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
