I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
