see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
