Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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