I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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