Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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