so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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