I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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