she was so not down for the gang bang
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
