I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
