its not stalking. its research.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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