You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
