i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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