This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
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