I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Still dying that you shit outside
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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